My Mistress wants to try putting Akla Sewter(sp?) on my sex. You know the tablets which you put in water and it fizzes when you have a belly ache or whatever? Is it safe to do that? Please let me know! thank you! slave rhana

Dear rahna,

It is Alka Seltzer, and I imagine the company that makes it would be pretty shocked at this suggested use!!

I have to start with a little explanation here… my mail has been down for a few months, and when I finally recovered all of the questions, they came in without the details, such as your E-mail address and sex. This means I don’t know whether or not you are male or female, so I’ll have to answer both ways.

For a female, if it is just poured on the outer parts, I cannot see where it would cause harm, EXCEPT for the glaring fact that it is alkali (alka = alkali) and should not be taken internally. When a woman gets a yeast infection, it is because the PH balance is out of whack, and she needs to douche with vinegar to make it more acid and less alkali.

For a male, again, if it is just poured on the outside, I don’t see where it would hurt, and might cause an interesting sensation. I would be very careful, though, in getting it near the urethra or trying to get it inside. Air bubbles or air blown into the male urethra can cause embolism, and as we know, that ‘fizz fizz’ is caused by thousands of tiny bubbles. Generally, I think it is pretty difficult for things to travel UP unless forced by some means (such as with sounds, but that’s a whole different article!), but it is something to keep in mind when experimenting. I know it is sometimes difficult, but if unsure about anything, ask a doctor as I can only offer opinions. I’m gonna try this one, though, on my own slave. Thanks for the idea!