Nobody can judge you nuts but you or a professional, though I would be very hesitant to use that term. Use it a lot, and you'll come to believe it. Every human needs a different level of stimulation. While it is a concern that you cannot come without extreme pain, it is not something that automatically qualifies you as 'nuts'. It does, however, bring up a lot of concerns, such as: Why is this the case? Do you pursue this pain with people you trust or do you really not care? If the statement is true that you really don't care where it comes from, I would venture a guess that you were severely abused as a child and only felt loved and accepted when you underwent a lot of pain or possibly after a beating. Nuts? Probably not. Self esteem issues, most definitely, if this letter is to be taken at face value. Get therapy. There are obviously a lot of things you need to work out. If you can't afford therapy, do yourself a favor and go onto my other site and order "A Survivor's Guide to Sex" and read it. Realize that you SHOULD care if you are being abused, and that there is a difference between abuse and pain. Please, realize that every person is worth loving, so start loving yourself right now.