My girlfriend says I'm to big (length & width). I tried shortening my stride so I don't go in all the way, and I try to go slow so I don't hurt her, but it doesn't work. We haven't had sex in about two months because she doesn't want to get hurt, and I don't want to hurt her. What can I do? (besides cutting it off, neither of us wants that!!)
Most men in this world would absolutely kill to have this problem!!
There are a few things that can be done here. My very first recommendation would be more foreplay and lots of lube. Eros and Eros Woman (sold at Dark Fire Gallery) are the absolute best lubes in the world, bar none. If I had had these miracles of science when I worked in brothels, things would have been MUCH easier! A lot of women do not completely lube up as much as they should to prepare for sex. While some men may take this personally, it is generally only partially the fault of the man. Many things can cause lack of lubrication, such as hormones, birth control pills, anti-depressants and other medications as well as diet. If a woman is not wet enough, it is definitely going to hurt.
Now, most women are built for childbirth. While this is painful while sex should not be. This basically means that women stretch. The vagina is very elastic, and stretches and then contracts back. In your case, you can take advantage of this by stretching it out before you try intercourse. Try a vibrator or small dildo that is a bit smaller than you are, and insert it gently while doing other forms of foreplay, such as oral sex. Stretch it out and get it good and wet before you attempt sex with the real thing.
Position will play a large part in the act, also. Certain positions will compress the vagina so that it is shorter. Women are generally taught when they start their cycles that if a tampon should happen to lose the string, to squat in order to retrieve it. This squatting position will help to shorten the vagina for that, and in the case of sex, will make the man seem much longer. This means that positions like being on the back and having the legs up are going to be difficult. Woman on top can be somewhat difficult, too, but gives her control over how deep it goes, so is a good choice.
There is one more possibility here, and one that can be the most difficult to deal with... She may actually have some physical problem that is causing the pain. Endometriosis, tilted uterus, vaginal warts, an infection, and even irritable bowel syndrome are just a few things that can make sex painful for women. If this persists after you try the techniques above, please, see a doctor!
