Oh my! This is a crime! Yes, it is very sad. Annie, you owe it to yourself to spend some time getting to know YOU! If you are in your 40's and have never reached orgasm, there must be a reason. Either you are afraid to explore your own body, afraid to do it buy yourself, or afraid to let partners explore and let yourself go. There could be a lot of reasons for that, such as a possible abusive past or a wheltered (smothered, more appropriately) upbringing. Put all of that aside, get yourself a vibrator, and make a date with yourself! Plan it out-plan an evening for yourself, take a bubblebath, have some wine to relax you (not a lot!), and start exploring while in the tub. If you have a handheld shower, point it right at your clitoris and turn the water full force. If that does not do it, there are tons of toys that I recommend and use myself. My all-time favorite is the Hitachi Magic Wand. He has 2 speeds, 'Oh My God and Who Needs A Man'. My other all-time favorite is the Rabbit Pearl. He does just about everything but the dishes!

Remember, all of the great toys in the world are not going to do any good unless you let yourself relax and explore. A lot of women who have never had an orgasm stop themselves just short because to some it almost feels like they are going to pee. This is not quite the case unless you are one that ejaculates, and you need to allow yourself to fall over that edge. If you are afraid of possibly wetting the bed, grab a towl and put it under you before you start. If you don't achieve it on the first 'date' try again! You'll get a little farther each time you try.