well here she goes....my bf and I have not been seeing each other very long and we both discovered we have a hunger to try the s&m lifestyle at a mild degree. Neither of us are sure how to proceed...we have read many things via the internet....now I am searching for some books as well and found a few here via your sight.....but neither of us are dominant but we trade the roll for roll play sake. We are enjoying what is going on but want to get more into just not sure where to search at this time. Can you help us please.
The best thing you both can do is read everything you can get your hands on, and then take a lot of it with a grain of salt. Things like the Gor novels are, in my opinion, pure fantasy, but many have built an entire lifestyle based on them. Believe me, you are not an expert on S & M after reading the Sleeping Beauty series. While these books are great masturbation material, they are limited in practical advice. My first recommendation is always "Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns" by Miller & Devon. You won't find a better written, easier to read book on the subject. My next recommendation is "The Loving Dominant" by John Warren. Always a favorite, and the first book I ever read on the subject, it gets into the mindset of S/M. My next recommendation is generally "SM 101" by Jay Weisman. While not as easy to read, it is chock full of great information, definitions and terminology.
Once you have a basic knowledge, get involved, as a couple, in the lifestyle where you live. Go to Munches and parties, watch, socialize and learn. While you may not be into playing in public, there's always something to be learned from other players.
The last bit of advice is to communicate thoroughly. Use the negotiation form in the back of "Screw The Roses"! It may seem a bit uncomfortable at first, but in order to pursue S/M, you MUST have the best communication possible. That means the promise to each other to talk about anything and everything, no matter what.
